Man, all these people bitching about losing their old-school Flickr logins. How they were once l33t and felt special, and now they’re saying that this loss of special feeling is what will ruin the web. LOLZ!

Lets just admit what’s really going on here. IT’S AN INTERNET DICK CONTEST! (With props.)

OH YEA? WELL…

MY INTERNET DICK IS SO HUGE THAT I JUST MERGED MY OLD-SCHOOL FLICKR ACCOUNT WITH A YAHOO ID FROM THE LATE 1990, BITCHES! AND IT’S STILL “NEGATENDO” FOOLS! STFU! I DID IT BLINDFOLDED, TOO.

IN FACT, MY INTERNET DICK ACTUALLY ONCE WROTE EVERY USENET GROUP IN 1996 EXPLAINING HOW YAHOO! WERE SELLOUTS. AND EVERYONE READ THAT POST AND AGREED.

WHAT DID YOU SAY SOMETHING? I DON’T THINK SO. I’M STILL SWINGING MY INTERNET DICK AROUND AND YOU ARE QUIETLY STANDING THERE IN AWE.

YEA, ITS SO DAMN BIG THAT IT CAN “FEEL” WHAT WEB GRAPHICS LOOK LIKE BECAUSE I STILL BROWSE THE WEB WITH LYNX. DAMN LOLCATS ARE FUNNY!

YOU THINK YOU’RE GOOD AT WORLD OF WARCRAFT? YOU THINK YOU ARE MAKING MANY “LINDENS” IN SECOND LIFE? FUCK THAT! MY INTERNET DICK IS THE FUCKING KING OF BOWIEWORLD, MAN. IT KILLED DAVID BOWIE HIMSELF IN 2001 WITH VIRTUAL FIRE. WHAT YOU SEE NOW IS NOTHING MORE THAN AN ILLUSION CONTROLLED BY MY INTERNET DICK!

ITS ALSO SO BIG THAT IT READS RSS FEEDS BY, LIKE, ACTUALLY JUST READING RSS. EVEN THEN XML NODES ARE TOO SLOW TO PARSE. IT PREFERS JSON.

BY THE WAY, 90% OF GEOCITIES SITES ARE OWNED AND OPERATED BY MY INTERNET DICK.

IT ALSO QUITE LITERALLY CREATED SERGEY BRIN OUT OF MUD AND STICKS.

HOW ABOUT YOU? GOT SOMETHING TO SAY TO THAT? HUH? HUH? HUH? STFU!